It's official - I am the parent of an "adult"

Happy 18 Tee!

Yeah, it's sideways.  Duh....

They're Everywhere!!!

I couldn't resist

I am that mom who always laughed cynically when someone (everyone) would say, "They grow up so fast!"  Really?  That has not been my experience.  Perhaps when they were babies, it did seem that time flew by, but as they got older, and especially throughout the teenage years, I must admit that time seemed to come to a stand-still.  Please don't get me wrong--my kids are the world to me.  But in all fairness, while I probably am not going to get the oh-so-coveted Mother of the Year Award, neither of my kids are going to be receiving the Teenager of the Year Award either. 

But those are stories for another day....or several other days.  Let's just say that I can vouch for the saying that "Payback is a Bitch!"   Certainly gives my parents a good laugh watching me go through these times with my own kids. 

Anyway, so while I never thought time flew by, it really was shocking to wake up last Sunday and realize that I am now the parent of an adult.  It just does not seem possible--for her, or for me.  Of course, her first official act as an adult was to go register to vote.  YAY!  One of the requirements for continuing to live at home after 18 is to vote.  That is simply not optional.  Especially not with the direction this country is headed. 

There are also other requirements for living at home.  First, she must be moving forward in her life.  This means a paying job, in addition to working on her apprenticeship at the tattoo parlor.  She also has to enroll in school.  She wants to learn pastry art (the correct term evades me.)  So she has to be working toward that goal as well.  While I do not mind the piercing and tattooing as her Plan B, she does need to have a Plan A for her life.  While tattooing might be great at 18, 19, 20.....she must stay focused on long-term goals.

I have seen too many of her older friends just stop moving after high school.  I do not want her to be one of those adults.  It still strikes me as odd, and sad, that this new generation seems to have lost that drive and determination that I remember having as a young adult.  However, I am committed to helping overcome these obstacles, as long as she is committed to working toward being a productive and responsible adult.

The truth is, I don't know what I would do if she left home right now.  Maybe it's because I'm a control freak and cannot imagine not being there to help her manage her life.  Maybe it's because, after being a single mom for so long, I am overly attached to my kids.  Maybe it's because I really enjoy spending time with Taylor (most of the time....)  But most likely, it's a combination of all these, and more.

All I know for sure, is that I am proud to be her mother and her friend.  She was a beautiful baby and is now a beautiful young woman.  And I am older than dirt!  haha

Yes, she is an adult!  Not grown up, but an adult!  ;)

Until Next Time, Dream Large....

A Day in Jerome, AZ

Hello All & Happy Monday!  I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!!  Russell and I decided to go to Jerome, AZ Saturday to get out of the heat and do some shopping.  If you are ever in Arizona, Jerome is a must-see destination!!  Many say it is haunted and that is a huge draw for a lot of people.  Russell and I, however, absolutely love walking the town, visiting the shops, and having a nice lunch.  

Jerome is home to many artists, and if you are ever looking for an original piece of artwork or one-of-a-kind jewelry, clothing, etc., and love meeting the artist, this is the place to go! 

We also made reservations to stay at The Surgeon's House the first Saturday of October for Art Walk.  It's an amazing event that occurs the first Saturday of every month, and is incredible!!  We have to wait until October because Andrea, the owner of The Surgeon's House was booked until then.  And we insist on staying with her when we are there because her home and her property are only outdone by Andrea herself. 

Here are some pics from our day in Jerome.  Trust me when I say they do not do the town justice, but it's what I've got....Enjoy!!!

That's it for now!  In October, I will add some more pics, and perhaps better descriptions....but hope you enjoyed what I had!  

What's your "little-known" hot-spot??  

Another Exciting Episode of "Life With Teens"

I remember the days, a few years ago, when my kids still had brains.  Those precious moments when, in their need to be self-sufficient, they would think for themselves.  They would do for themselves.  They wanted to prove how big they were, so they would actually get off their butts just to show me that they could _________ (insert random chore) on their own--without my help.  I remember actually being irritated by their independence at times.  (WHAT?!)  

Flash-Forward:  My kids have lost their brains, their self-sufficiency, and really, most of their other desirable qualities as well.

This is what I would like to see a little more of:

Sunday is house cleaning day.  Sunday has always been house cleaning day.  It's a family tradition.  Sunday is typically the day when I wake up way too early, come downstairs, and realize that, DAMMIT, my house is a complete disaster again!  Don't get me wrong--we get chores done daily, but for some reason, by Sunday, it looks like we've never picked up a thing around here!

I will admit that I am a total bitch    not always pleasant as I   storm up the stairs screaming my kids' names wake the kids up to get started.  However, in my defense, I usually wait until about 10:00 to get them up, and by that time, I've had at least 4 good hours to assess the damage around here and work up an attitude.

Or maybe I get an attitude because I know what comes next.  The inevitable question.  The one question that makes me really go crazy.....

"What are we supposed to do?"  

REALLY?!  We have been cleaning house on Sunday for as long as I can remember, and they've been an active part of helping to clean since they were in preschool.  We've lived in this particular home for five years.....and you don't know what to do?! 

I can look around and see 100 things that need to be done, without even blinking.  And you don't know what to do?!  

This is the point when I go from irritated to stark-raving-mad lunatic!  I know, I know....there are things I can do to keep it from getting to this point with them.  I could write it all out, for instance.  But WHY?!  These are the same kids who knew exactly what to do when they were 6 and 7.  How can they have forgotten?!

I keep waiting for my kids to come back around to the days when they were old enough to help and young enough to want to help.  To be thinkers, movers, doers!  Yes, the day when I realize my years of  nagging, screaming, begging, and threatening    hard work have finally paid off.....

And as I am daydreaming about this wonderful time, when the brain cells awaken from assumed death, my husband yells from the kitchen, "Honey, where's the mustard?"   

HOLY CRAP!  In the same place it's been for 5 years now......

If my family is called upon to "save the world" I come to the only logical conclusion there is:

WE ARE DOOMED!!!

A Parent's Prayer for their Teen

A Parent's Prayer for their Teen
--written by JGrimes and reprinted here with her permission.  For that I am grateful...this is a beautiful prayer and well worth reading, reading, reading....

Dear God, I need to talk to you for a minute about these kids you gave me. First of all, let me make this clear. I adore them. They amaze me, a million different times throughout each day. They are clearly your creation and not my own. And for this, I am thankful. I could have never come up with something this wonderful, even if you had asked me to write out what I had in mind on paper before they were born. But, I want you to know that I am scared. The world looks to me, as their parent, to teach them and protect them, raising them to be successful adults. I wonder why, then, must the world work against me on every step? As a little girl, my precious daughter – well, actually, she is Your precious daughter – happily skipped through her day, treasuring each moment and believing anything was possible. But somewhere along the way to being a teenager, she lost her joy. Now, her days are filled with paralyzing self doubt and deceptive invitations to the path of acceptance. My adorable son, who once started each day by holding my face in his hands just to tell me he loved me, can no longer look me in the eye. He tries to hide behind walls built over time, convinced that I will never understand him. But I see through to his breaking heart, and mine breaks right along with his. It always has. Always will. These are your children. And they are perfect. How can I get them to see that? How can I protect them from the false expectations of their peers, who are all struggling to find their way just the same? How can I prove to them that they were designed to stand out, rather than to fit in? Sometimes, I watch them sleeping and this is my silent prayer for them: Hold them in your arms. Always. Reveal yourself to them often, proving that they are never alone. Help them to be strong enough to make a difference; to change the lives of others rather than changing who they are to fit in. Make their paths straight before them, just as you promised to do, and then give them the strength to follow. The decisions they make today can alter the path of the rest of their lives. Please help them to better understand this, and protect them when the time arrives to make those choices. Show them that the rules we have in place are to protect them; not to prevent them from having fun, but rather to keep them from crossing lines into adulthood long before they are ready. Help them understand that once you cross those lines, there is no going back to being a kid. Help them never to doubt you, especially when teachers and others cause them to question their beliefs. How can they ever find their true value if they believe they were an accident or grew from the ground or from monkeys of some sort? Their very existence proves that You are real, so please comfort them and give them your answers long before they need them. I pray these same things for their future spouses and children. Protect their future and create it in a way that brings them all closer together and to you in the end. And God, please keep whispering these things to them until they are ready for me to tell them face to face. Because Lord, I adore my teens, and am so thankful you chose me to be their parent. Give me what I need to do the job you asked of me, and hold me when I’m scared. I never want to let either of you down. In Jesus Name, Amen

"You want to do WHAT?!" Letting Our Children Grow Up...

When my daughter, Taylor, (18 next month) was in kindergarten, it was already clear that she was going to be one of those kids who would create her own path in this world.  Her kindergarten teacher called me to a meeting and said, "I have been teaching 5-year-old kids for more than 20 years, and I have never seen anyone do...."  Yes, that is when I knew Taylor would be her own person No Matter What!!

Being an artistic, creative, outgoing, outspoken girl, she has gone through a complete cycle of career ideas--all if which she would be perfect for:  

• When she was going through her pink, blue, purple hair stage, she wanted to be a Hairstylist.

• When she was going through her Raccoon Eye make-up days, she thought a Makeup Artist might be "it."

• Then she discovered the joy of photography, and with her artistic eye, she would have been good at it.  But then she realized she might have to take pictures of something other than herself! 

• When she went through her experimenting with drugs phase (yes, it happens.....) and went through a rehab program, she thought perhaps that was her calling (although truth be told, 8 years of college might have been a little more than she could swallow!) 

• She took a culinary class in high school and set about immediately looking into culinary schools.  At this phase, she actually applied and was accepted into a fantastic culinary arts school!

• And then, she realized that she didn't really like cooking--she liked baking and designing, so we looked into pastry arts schools, which, again, is a great fit for her!

Flash Forward to Present Day!!!

Taylor comes home last week, and being frustrated with her current job where she is not getting enough hours to support her shopping habit, she announces to me:

"MOM, I AM GOING TO BE A PIERCER!!"

Okay, so I have to tell you....while this may not be the career path I would have chosen for my little 5-year old girl, I told her to look into what she needed to do to make it happen!  The amazing thing??  She did it!  She went online to research, she made phone calls, she talked to shop owners--she actually did the work!  Now, this says a lot about her dedication to this line of work. So....

We went together to a new tattoo shop that opened less than a mile away, and talked to the owner.  We'd been in his shop several times and he is a nice guy.  You might not guess that by looking at him, but he is.  He does not do drugs, he does not drink, he has never smoked a cigarette, and he is the father of a teenage daughter.  He understands my concerns and I trust that he will take care of her....and that says a lot!

She started working there last week, and she loves it!  She has an outlet for her creative side and she is learning--not just about piercing, but about business and customer service and health issues.  Kevin (the owner) is preparing her for her future.  He insists that she learn the business inside-out--not just how to poke holes in people!!  haha

She gets up in the morning, gets her chores done, and is excited to go to work!!  She has a plan...she wants to finish this apprenticeship and then work part-time while she goes back to college for pastry arts.  This career choice will allow her to earn enough money to pay for college and possibly, one day, move out of my house!  

Yes, I always knew my daughter was not cut out for the traditional career path, but I could not be more proud of her!  She has found her passion and is now doing what it takes to Achieve Her Dreams!

As Moms, we always say "we just want our kids to be happy!"  Well, what I see is a happy little girl morphing into a happy young lady!

And that is enough for me!!

Now my son is another story all together.....

Until Next Time...

Argh....Teenagers--Gimme Diapers Any Day!

So, I have been wondering what to blog about today....and I flipped through a million different things in my mind, but did not feel that inspiration.  Until, that is, I had a little temper tantrum a few minutes ago.  Now, the rational part of my brain knows that maybe screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs isn't the most effective way to get my kids to get off their butts and help our around the house, but....sometimes it feels so damn good!!  So that's what I did!  And guess what happened?!?

NOTHING!  I screamed, I yelled, I pleaded, I begged, and I can't be sure, but I think my head spun 360 and I hurled green guck!  And the response for all that energy???  NOTHING.  They looked at me with perplexed faces, calmly waited for me to either finish screaming or pass out from exhaustion, and then went back to their business of holding down the furniture.....

Okay, to put this in perspective for you, I've downloaded a couple pics to give you a better idea of what it looked like.  Pictures really are worth 1000 words.

This is how I usually react.....

So I really thought that when THIS happened

That they might Notice.....

and I'd see a little of THIS

BUT...

THIS is the Reaction I got....

 So, I did what any mother would do....

 I DECLARED A STRIKE!!!

If memory serves, I believe I even said I was never cooking again! Yes, I know, you know, and they know, that this is not a credible threat. But I told you that I went a little psycho....and it seemed reasonable at the time...

Then I went outside (loudly) and I had myself a little "Time Out"....when I came in, I opened up Microsoft Excel and created chore charts for my almost-grown children.  Yes, it really brings me back to their younger childhood days (imagine me daydreaming).  There is a list of chores for every day of the week.  They are hanging on the fridge for all their friends to see...only thing missing is the "star stickers" to show what good kids they are.  I refuse to spend a dollar on stickers, even to prove my point.  I think grounding them if they don't do them is a more effective way of dealing with them.

Anyway,  I feel better now.  Blogging does that (and so does bitching,) so it must be really cathartic to write a bitchy blog! 

To all the Mommies struggling with sleeping through the night, potty-training, and pre-school.....ENJOY IT!!  You have NO idea what's in store for you later!!  

Until tomorrow......

"They'll Grow Up Before You Know It!!" Words to live by...

I never really imagined what it would feel like when my first child would graduate from high school and move on from childhood to adulthood--until the reality of that hit this week when my daughter walked up to receive her diploma.  It was such a mix of emotions--part excitement, part joy, part sad--but beneath it all is pure pride that my child, the little baby that taught me what true love was, is growing up.

As she moves on with her life, discovering her passions, pursuing her dreams, walking through failure and triumph, I realize how grateful I am for who she is, and who she will become.  As with most 17-year old young adults, she flip-flops between what she wants to do with her life.  What her career path will be and where she will go to college.

Today, I am grateful for so many things.  For my husband, who is not my kids' biological father, but treats them as his own, and supports them in every way he can.  For my younger son, who is still discovering himself and his potential.  For my friends, who keep me moving forward.  For my parents, who have supported me through my own journey through motherhood...and who have laughed with me, and at me, as I struggle through life with teenagers....For God, whose love and guidance in my life, always shows me the way.....

And for the company I work with, who makes it possible for me to have a career that enables me to not only work from home around my own schedule, but to earn an incredible income as well.  With my business, I know I have the financial means to help my daughter get a jump-start on her life.  I can help her pay for college, allow her to work part-time so she can focus on her studies, and provide her with the tools she will need to succeed. 

For much of the kids' life, I was a single mom and worked hard to climb the corporate ladder to support my kids.  They spent time a lot of time in after-school programs while I worked long hours to make ends meet.  If only I had known then what I know now!!  Now, rather than working hard to make other people rich, I work shorter, smarter hours, to make myself "rich."  My "riches" today are not simply monetary.  They are the riches of a happy, fulfilling life.  I work from home, I work with friends, I work with my team, I work with the owners of my company, I work my way! 

Yes, today is a day that I can wake up, look at my almost-grown children, and be proud of my life.  I have taken control of my own financial future and am creating my own journey.  And by doing so, I am showing my children that they too, can reach for the moon and land amongst the stars!