Sunday, June 27, 2010

Another Exciting Episode of "Life With Teens"

I remember the days, a few years ago, when my kids still had brains.  Those precious moments when, in their need to be self-sufficient, they would think for themselves.  They would do for themselves.  They wanted to prove how big they were, so they would actually get off their butts just to show me that they could _________ (insert random chore) on their own--without my help.  I remember actually being irritated by their independence at times.  (WHAT?!)  

Flash-Forward:  My kids have lost their brains, their self-sufficiency, and really, most of their other desirable qualities as well.

This is what I would like to see a little more of:

Sunday is house cleaning day.  Sunday has always been house cleaning day.  It's a family tradition.  Sunday is typically the day when I wake up way too early, come downstairs, and realize that, DAMMIT, my house is a complete disaster again!  Don't get me wrong--we get chores done daily, but for some reason, by Sunday, it looks like we've never picked up a thing around here!

I will admit that I am a total bitch    not always pleasant as I   storm up the stairs screaming my kids' names wake the kids up to get started.  However, in my defense, I usually wait until about 10:00 to get them up, and by that time, I've had at least 4 good hours to assess the damage around here and work up an attitude.

Or maybe I get an attitude because I know what comes next.  The inevitable question.  The one question that makes me really go crazy.....

"What are we supposed to do?"  

REALLY?!  We have been cleaning house on Sunday for as long as I can remember, and they've been an active part of helping to clean since they were in preschool.  We've lived in this particular home for five years.....and you don't know what to do?! 

I can look around and see 100 things that need to be done, without even blinking.  And you don't know what to do?!  

This is the point when I go from irritated to stark-raving-mad lunatic!  I know, I know....there are things I can do to keep it from getting to this point with them.  I could write it all out, for instance.  But WHY?!  These are the same kids who knew exactly what to do when they were 6 and 7.  How can they have forgotten?!

I keep waiting for my kids to come back around to the days when they were old enough to help and young enough to want to help.  To be thinkers, movers, doers!  Yes, the day when I realize my years of  nagging, screaming, begging, and threatening    hard work have finally paid off.....

And as I am daydreaming about this wonderful time, when the brain cells awaken from assumed death, my husband yells from the kitchen, "Honey, where's the mustard?"   

HOLY CRAP!  In the same place it's been for 5 years now......

If my family is called upon to "save the world" I come to the only logical conclusion there is: