Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Toxic Relationships

Toxic Relationships.  We all have them.  Whether it is a family member, partner, co-worker, or friend--we all have relationships that bring us down.  The question is "What to do about it?"  Of course, the answer is not as simple as the question.  A spouse or family member needs to be approached differently than a friend or co-worker. 

The reason I am writing about this is that yesterday I had to make a painful, yet necessary, decision to walk away from what started out as an incredible friendship, but ended up being toxic to me.  It was such a hard thing to do, but after a week of feeling sick to my stomach and worrying about it, I had to choose what was best for me.  I would like to say it didn't get ugly, but the truth is it was not pleasant.  It is a lot like getting a divorce--if we could do it happily and without upset, why would we have to do it at all?  So, while it was not nasty, it was very uncomfortable.  

I took the day to let myself grieve the loss of what was once such a close friendship, and then got up today and moved forward.  I am a firm believer that God brings people into our lives at specific times for a reason.  And when that reason has resolved, there is not always anything else holding the relationship together, except time.  And time isn't always enough. Things had started going wrong in this friendship a long time ago, and it was not until very recently I realized that the friendship was adding more stress, tension, and drama than it was worth.

I am thankful for the awesome gifts I received as a result of the relationship, and am hopeful that one day, we will both be able to look past the bad times and be friendly.  But, whether that happens or doesn't happen, is out of my hands right now.  It is time to concentrate on the relationships that are working in my life today.  And be grateful for the wonderful things God has planned for me. 

Until Next Time....